Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
Monday, January 13, 2003
Sunday, January 12, 2003
Saturday, January 11, 2003
Oh..I've been shitty solid stuffs now. Solid stuff not as it *Power!!! Solid!!!* that stuff but solid shit kind of stuff. But the last tie it got stuck. Damn! I could use with one of those quick release type now.
.....anyway, back to the dream I had the other time. It was nice. nothing sexual, just...you know, nice feeling. presence felt. Confusing. Dillema but nice.
Somewhere else....today at luch with family. Bro's b/d. i voiced out my opinions abit. I could feel tears almost flowing. I held back. i can never really cry in real life. Only in dreams. I think I cried in my dreams. I dun remember. I was dreaming. I think I did.
Dream...nice.....
.....anyway, back to the dream I had the other time. It was nice. nothing sexual, just...you know, nice feeling. presence felt. Confusing. Dillema but nice.
Somewhere else....today at luch with family. Bro's b/d. i voiced out my opinions abit. I could feel tears almost flowing. I held back. i can never really cry in real life. Only in dreams. I think I cried in my dreams. I dun remember. I was dreaming. I think I did.
Dream...nice.....
Friday, January 10, 2003
My mom threw away my shoes. My mom threw away my shoes. My mom threw away my shoes. My mom threw away my fucking shoes. Everything I ever owned. Everything I ever had. Everything I loved and cherished. All gone. All thrown away. This is the last straw. I'm not taking up the job. I'm finding another job and moving out.
My mom threw away my fucking shoes!!!!!. *sob*
My mom threw away my fucking shoes!!!!!. *sob*
Thursday, January 09, 2003
Now my mom is driving me mad. I hear nothing but shouts and screams, curses and complains. I'll never have any peace till I take the job. But then, if I took the job, I'll never have peace. I am to be a slave. To work like a dog and give all my money away. Why? I blame my sis. I should be jealous, blaming her, but I'm only accusing thru words. My heart is dead.
I had a dream. A wonderful dream.....sigh. Wish it would come true.
I had a dream. A wonderful dream.....sigh. Wish it would come true.
Tuesday, January 07, 2003
My parents are driving me mad. They ARE forcing me to take up the job even though their mouth are forming the words, "We're don't want to force you, you know." and the voice box projects their mouth formations across the room and into my ears. They keep shouting at me, "Go and call and arrange for an interview! You've got the job already, just have to call only!". Can't even let me sleep. I sleep abit, I get disturbed, I sleep abit, I get disturbed. I can never have a proper, straight, undisurbed sleep. All because of money. Because of this, I am seriously considering cashing in on my NSS and ERS shares and withdrawing my last paycheck of $300 from waiting on people, (so that'll make about $900) and just giving it all to them and asking them to leave me alone. But it will never work.
I need to get out. I am contemplating suicide, considering NIE, or even NS, but no. I have to persevere. I have to allow my dreams to come true. I have to get my off my butt and start working on the NBT review and get a job at SW. I just wanna die. I wanna preach again. Money is evil.
I need to get out. I am contemplating suicide, considering NIE, or even NS, but no. I have to persevere. I have to allow my dreams to come true. I have to get my off my butt and start working on the NBT review and get a job at SW. I just wanna die. I wanna preach again. Money is evil.
My mom sorta, forced? pushed? edged? (fuck), forced me into this job at some site (construction not web) that my uncle is working at as some dunno what fuck supervisor. (*fake shout/cry* "You'll never understand me!" *fake slams door* wink!). She wants me to work so that I can bring money back into the house. I blame my sis again. If I land the job, I'm just gonna hand her my entire pay check and say, "Here's the money you wanted me to work for you." I'm such an ass but I have no need for money. 'cept to move out, get a license, get an amp, get a studio, but I have no need for money. Money just kills. I'm happier without it. yea, sounds like typical mat attitude but no, seriously, they have it right. Money just kills. I just wanna do something I really like, something that I have the passion for. Like PBS, like Orange Ribbon, like you-know-what. Of course there will be money involved but it will come. Money will come but it is not important at this stage. Money shouldn't been seen as the direct motivation and number priority in whatever you do. Money should be a sideline rather the pipeline. Money just kills. Gimme money.
Monday, January 06, 2003
I guess the shits is over. It's gone. But I haveb't had one since the last so can't confirm...anyway...going backwards. I've got work later...after skiving for so long (no not Lime mag. local band skive. That's shit), I'm broke. Need a full-time job. I just blew bout $80 on Universe X. Watch Lord of the finks. I had the whole cinema to myself. I was a happy guy, laughing silently to myself to the people who has to rush. Stupidily is around my friend, stupidity is around. Paid $20 for my $80 outstanding bill. Had a jam on Sunday. I think we've got something going on. I'm so excited. I got titles for songs, but I can't write anything out. I suck. I need a vocalist. I need.
Saturday, January 04, 2003
I was told, no, advised by the doctor to keep away from oily food, spicy food, diary products, fried food, because of my bad stomach. So I was like, yea, okay, I want it cured as fast as possible too. Now I'm at home reading the newspaper and all of a sudden....whoa! whoa! whoa! waitaminute. I'm living in Singapore! I'm a Singaporean! There is nothing but fried, oily, spicy food and stuffs with diary products. I eat nothing but fried, oily, spicy food and stuffs with diary products. Fried rice, mee goreng, prata, chicken rice (if you eat chicken rice without chilli you're mad), wanton, char kway tiao, satay, bundung, teh-peng, milo-peng, kopi-peng..etc...how?!! So fuck it, if I'm gonna shit no matter what I eat I might as well enjoy my food. Shits up!
Friday, January 03, 2003
ok, so shit didn't come out last night, but that's a god sign rite? But I couldn't sleep and ended up eating instant noodles at 5am in the morning. 4 may sound like a low shit count but dun forget, I haven't been eating anything for the pass 2 or 3 days. So what am I shiting? Beat's me. I can fart normally now too and not those watery farts that could be suspicuously shit instead? Damn...spoke too early, feel like the ass is working again. Why the Fuck am I talking about nothing but shit???!!! I'm so full of shit.
Every since I got back from K.L. My mom says nothing else to me except cut my hair. She hates my new hair style. She says the hair represents my image and fortune and my this hair style is shitty to her and will bring me bad fortune. Maybe my bad luck will go away if she'll just stop cursing me. She wants me to have a 60s, L.K.Y. kinda hair style now. Why not I starp on some bell-bottoms (not that I dun mind), tight tee with hugh collars, tucked all the way in, half the shirt un-buttons, wear huge shoes and go around drinking wildly and picking fights with people I'm not happy with? The first person I'd probaby pick a fight with will be my mom. yucks! But being the guy I am and the way I was brought up, I just have to shut my face and carry the pain in my chest, or in this case my ass, I need to shit again. Shit count now will be a 5-er.
Thursday, January 02, 2003
Fever's down but shit's still watery. Think I not gonna work today again. Go take M.C. Fuck it. Saturday Morning then work. Still can't get over N.B.Ties. Still can't forget the time Tiramisu squeezed in after Force Vomit's Soundcheck and the other bands waiting to Soundcheck were kinda pissed. People were going, "Tiramisu apa?" then when Joe Kid the annoucner annouced Tiramisu from Singapore during the gig itself, the audience were like..."Singapore? aiii......." Force Vomit were already famous in K.L. but Tiramisu were new. Tiramisu was afraid that they would not get accepted by the crowd. BUT when Mr. Fantesticles kicked it, everyone when wild. After the gig, everyone was asking for Tiramisu's album, though there was none. Autographs were asked, invitations to play in Bangkok was asked, demos for radio play were asked. It was rocking, it was rolling. It will keep on rock and rolling.
Force Vomit and Tiramisu at No Black Ties rocked K.L.!!! Unfortunately after the gig, almosted hypo-ed and the rest of the trip was feeling weak. Everything that when in came out like a sprinkler. yuck. Anyway, everything was cool, will be be rawking even more in the future. Yea! Yea!
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