I hate PCs. Always jumping around to the wrong window. Last night I couldn't sleep and I just entered the denail stage. In and out in just a whisk. Disappeared when I fell asleep. Fast eh? Why does she hate me?
"She fucking hates me...yea yea yea." - Puddle of Mudd
Anyway I've found it. Juggernaut says: "Cause life is pain. Pain leads to depair. And the only way to neat despair is through rage. And Rage feeds the Juggernaut. Once the Juggernaut feels rage, nothing of this or any world can stop the Juggernaut. The Juggernaut is unstoppable!!!!!!!!!"
Ok. I got a little carried away there. But Juggernaut is cool. But no one knows about him. You know, there are more to comics than being graphic literature. Hulk isn't just a lean, mean, green machine. Spiderman isn't just some kid who can climb walls. Hmmm...think I shall go read some comics.
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Guys. Gals. Dudes. Cheesebuns. I'm ok. I think. Seriously. I hope. I'll be fine in the end. I better be. It's just that so many things are, were and going to happen/ing at the same time that I'm totally confused. With band and woman break up. Hanging gigs, music directions, open minded musicians, drummers who will listen, money, job, family, passion and cloged ideas and my freaking scabbing leg. (Hmm..alot about music ah?) It's just mixed emotions, (though all pointing more of less the same way). It's so mixed that I don't feel a thing. Seriously. Probably the main thing I'm feeling now is pain from my freaking scabbing leg, tiredness from working so much and not earning enough and disappointment from...oh...I guess (see above). But perserverance is my game. Like Juggernaut always says....errr...I forgot. I'll go find out and tell you guys the next time. Juggernaut rules man. And a little of Hulk. And Spiderman.
Thanks for putting up with me and being there guys. SSF is for you. And you and you and you....(Go see Tiramisu live in action to understand what just happened).
Thanks for putting up with me and being there guys. SSF is for you. And you and you and you....(Go see Tiramisu live in action to understand what just happened).
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
I hope during SSF gig I kenna electrocuted real bad and die. That'll be the way to go.
News headline
Life is Elsewhere's bassist who decided to pick up guitar for egoistical reasons only know to himself died while performing for Singapore Street Festival. He was gazing when the connection in his jack was loose. His cheap shoes did not provide a good enough conductor and now his familly is suing the organizers for millions which they will recieve within 6 months and will live happily ever after without having to worry if he's found a job yet or not.
Power right? What a way to go man. All problems solved.
News headline
Life is Elsewhere's bassist who decided to pick up guitar for egoistical reasons only know to himself died while performing for Singapore Street Festival. He was gazing when the connection in his jack was loose. His cheap shoes did not provide a good enough conductor and now his familly is suing the organizers for millions which they will recieve within 6 months and will live happily ever after without having to worry if he's found a job yet or not.
Power right? What a way to go man. All problems solved.
Everyone changes. It's so sad. Friends become total stranges and total strangers become friends. Found passions are lost and lost passions are found. This cycle goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and .......It's so sad.
I just bought 12 CDs for $12 at Citylink's HMV. Don't bother. All the good ones have already been taken. BY ME!!! And my legs are stiff, sting and can't bend cos the scabs are always getting fresher as I pull/peel the guaze out. And my tunes are getting along nicely, I think. If only I can get better musicians.
Monday, May 26, 2003
Me and the other just ended. It started clean, became ugly and ended messy. Funny I don't feel anything. Oh well. She's happy. Her boat or goat as she likes it to be called is floating. I'm not bugging her anymore. I guess it turns out alright for everyone. And yes. I know I'm pathetic and shallow.
I can't help about the shape, I can't sing and my legs are thin.
Don't ask about the way I feel, I might not have the answer that you want me to.
Follower by riff and super extravagant solo.
I can't help about the shape, I can't sing and my legs are thin.
Don't ask about the way I feel, I might not have the answer that you want me to.
Follower by riff and super extravagant solo.
Sunday, May 25, 2003
Sunday is a long way from today.
It's almost yesterday so I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
I guess never expect too much from anyone. I did and the outcome is never what I hoped it to be. There's another thing, Hope. We need hope to drive us. To give us aim. To keep us going. But it is hope that'll kill us. I think.
It's almost yesterday so I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
I guess never expect too much from anyone. I did and the outcome is never what I hoped it to be. There's another thing, Hope. We need hope to drive us. To give us aim. To keep us going. But it is hope that'll kill us. I think.
Saturday, May 24, 2003
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Got this off...uhmmmmm.....welllanyway..here it is.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 mi/gal." Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?" and also noted the following consequences of GM imitating Microsoft:
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 mi/gal." Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?" and also noted the following consequences of GM imitating Microsoft:
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Monday, May 19, 2003
I have a bag fetish. Not very strong but I still like bags. I have loads of rubbish bags and they are collecting dust and taking up space at home. Time to time, I get a bag mood and I use a certain bag for a long period of time. Army field pack. Big black bag. Sling recce bag. Sling net bag. etc. The bag mood now is the big black bag. Before this was the army field pack. When I get home. I normally just place (throw) my bag on the floor. It pisses my mom off (she always tells me to put the bags I'm not using in the spare room which I never do because I'm always "using" the bags If you know what i mean. Come on, you'll never know when I need them right?) but I managed to shove it to the corner so it doesn't take up so much space. The worst period will be the bag mood transitional period. That's when the previous bag I was using is shoved to the side and the current bag I'm using is next to it, and because my room (which I share with my brother) is kinda errr...unspacious, next to usually means the center of the floor. Anyway, the contents of my bags are usually stuffs I put in but never take out unless I need them. E.g. plastic bags, fliers, plastic bottle rims, dead batteries, fox-hole markings and so on.
A few days back, I discovered that my mom put the last bag, which is the army field pack, I was using into the spare room (as usual). BUT, this time, the contents of the bag were on the table. I see my lighters (I'll just say I use them for work), dead batteries, my notepads, green camo paint, supa-glue in small zip lock bag. I was thinking, oh well, I guess my brother may be using the bag oh my mom or my dad could have cleaned out my bag.
Here's the catch. I didn't give it much thought and I left it as it was for almost a week. Untill today, or right now as I was coming home in a cab I shared with Alice and Jango after watching Matrix Reloaded. All a sudden it hit me. I had a box of condoms in a Watson's plastic bag in the army field pack. As soon as I got back, I looked in my bag and nope, it wasn't in there. Oh my, oh my, oh my. Now the question is WHO? threw it away because it's no where in my room. No one said anything to me either. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. The point I'm getting to is, there isn't a point. It's just that it only occured to me after so long. Oh well.
A few days back, I discovered that my mom put the last bag, which is the army field pack, I was using into the spare room (as usual). BUT, this time, the contents of the bag were on the table. I see my lighters (I'll just say I use them for work), dead batteries, my notepads, green camo paint, supa-glue in small zip lock bag. I was thinking, oh well, I guess my brother may be using the bag oh my mom or my dad could have cleaned out my bag.
Here's the catch. I didn't give it much thought and I left it as it was for almost a week. Untill today, or right now as I was coming home in a cab I shared with Alice and Jango after watching Matrix Reloaded. All a sudden it hit me. I had a box of condoms in a Watson's plastic bag in the army field pack. As soon as I got back, I looked in my bag and nope, it wasn't in there. Oh my, oh my, oh my. Now the question is WHO? threw it away because it's no where in my room. No one said anything to me either. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. The point I'm getting to is, there isn't a point. It's just that it only occured to me after so long. Oh well.
Sunday, May 18, 2003
Friday, May 16, 2003
Different ways I greet different people on ICQ
examples
Bee Dees! : cheesebun!
Manic Jango : dude!
Toughcock : dey
Which category do you belong to?
examples
Bee Dees! : cheesebun!
Manic Jango : dude!
Toughcock : dey
Which category do you belong to?
Sunday, May 11, 2003
I didn't know Puna pronounced poo-nah was a word. I came across it in the Microsoft Word's dictionary.
puna see altitude sickness
I though we made it up in camp describing basically anything. Good. Bad. Stupid. Smart. Whatever.
e.g.
You puna lah!
Eh, the feller damn puna ah.
Solid! That was damn puna!
Taken from Dictionary.com
puna
\Pu"na\, n. [Sp., of Peruv. origin.] A cold arid table-land, as in the Andes of Peru.
and CancerWEB's On-line Medical Dictionary
Altitude sickness
A condition that results from prolonged exposure to high altitude.
Symptoms include a continuous dry cough, shortness of breath, poor exercise tolerance, dizziness, headache, sleep difficulty, anorexia, confusion, fatigue and a rapid pulse.
Treatment includes the immediate movement to a lower altitude. Prophylaxis has been accomplished successfully with the use of acetazolamide (Diamox).
(27 Sep 1997)
puna see altitude sickness
I though we made it up in camp describing basically anything. Good. Bad. Stupid. Smart. Whatever.
e.g.
You puna lah!
Eh, the feller damn puna ah.
Solid! That was damn puna!
Taken from Dictionary.com
puna
\Pu"na\, n. [Sp., of Peruv. origin.] A cold arid table-land, as in the Andes of Peru.
and CancerWEB's On-line Medical Dictionary
Altitude sickness
A condition that results from prolonged exposure to high altitude.
Symptoms include a continuous dry cough, shortness of breath, poor exercise tolerance, dizziness, headache, sleep difficulty, anorexia, confusion, fatigue and a rapid pulse.
Treatment includes the immediate movement to a lower altitude. Prophylaxis has been accomplished successfully with the use of acetazolamide (Diamox).
(27 Sep 1997)
So half the members of Life is Elsewhere is sort of leaving. They're gonna try with other people and see what's gonna happen cos apparently there's a musical chemistry problem and we're about to hit a brick wall so they wanna avoid it before we reach it. It's still gonna be us but if they find the someone else who's gonna work out, they're gonna have to pull out their songs. We'll still jam and all, but to me, I guess it'll be different. I guess Aaron's songs were the ones to jump-start what we are today, so far. I was hoping once we're all settled down we could actually sit down and start contributing a little more and start working as a team, as a band and not as individuals. I guess it's too late for that now. I guess you can put it in another way that I'm not musically good enough to keep up with the rest. It's like having the love of your life telling you, "I think we should see other people. Just to see how things work out." NOT! that that has happened. I certainly hope it doesn't but I guess at some point in time it will. Spoken or not. Fish is away in Japan so he doesn't know what's going on, or maybe he has a rough idea but I'm guessing he'll be too caught up in his work so it's be basically anything to him. So it all comes down to just me. Alone. Again. Maybe it's just me, but I guess I'll just do what i normally do in situations like this, which is Oh Well. I guess Life is Elsewhere ended before it even started. Life, is indeed Elsewhere. I'm guess I'm doing alot of guessing work here. Be thankful it's not gas. Though I hope it is.
I got this off Vanessa's Blog
may 9 dream sequence
I had a dream last night. We were sitting in a car. I think it was the Jeep, because I remember sinking into the leather seats, or just sinking into something pillowy, and dark, and warm. But I've had so many dreams in cars that I'm starting to think it might have more symbolism than I would like it to have. And things are happy, things haven't been so happy in a long time. I'm in the driver seat and he's in the passenger seat and he's looking at me and I'm looking at him and we laugh. Because it's awkward like that, but it isn't an awkward laugh, it's a laugh where you smile first and then laugh.
And then he leans over and kisses me. And I'm really shocked. And I say, "Wow, it's okay. We don't have to talk about this. We won't ever talk about this ever again, but this just happened once and it'll never happen again..." and I'm rambling because I'm nervous. I don't want to ruin things, not now. But it won't happen again.
And he says, "No, it'll happen again, and again, and then some!"
And I'm still shocked, and I'm scared, because I don't know if I should believe him. And I shake my head. And he goes, "Marry me."
And I look at him. And he's smiling.
And then I start sinking. I sink into the seat, I'm crouching because I'm confused. I keep on sinking and then I fall into the seats, into the darkness, into the leather interior and then I lose him and I'm just by myself. And I wake up. And I'm surrounded by pillows and comforters and my comfort blanket and I'm still confused and still so scared.
And then I try to go back to sleep. And I have the dream again. And when I wake up I don't want to go back to sleep. But I don't want to get up. So I start thinking about things and there's no more sleep. But I think I'm still dreaming.
It's so freaking me out that 2 people have the same dreams/ideas/thoughts going on at the same time but at the 2 completely opposite ends.
I had a dream last night. We were sitting in a car. I think it was the Jeep, because I remember sinking into the leather seats, or just sinking into something pillowy, and dark, and warm. But I've had so many dreams in cars that I'm starting to think it might have more symbolism than I would like it to have. And things are happy, things haven't been so happy in a long time. I'm in the driver seat and he's in the passenger seat and he's looking at me and I'm looking at him and we laugh. Because it's awkward like that, but it isn't an awkward laugh, it's a laugh where you smile first and then laugh.
And then he leans over and kisses me. And I'm really shocked. And I say, "Wow, it's okay. We don't have to talk about this. We won't ever talk about this ever again, but this just happened once and it'll never happen again..." and I'm rambling because I'm nervous. I don't want to ruin things, not now. But it won't happen again.
And he says, "No, it'll happen again, and again, and then some!"
And I'm still shocked, and I'm scared, because I don't know if I should believe him. And I shake my head. And he goes, "Marry me."
And I look at him. And he's smiling.
And then I start sinking. I sink into the seat, I'm crouching because I'm confused. I keep on sinking and then I fall into the seats, into the darkness, into the leather interior and then I lose him and I'm just by myself. And I wake up. And I'm surrounded by pillows and comforters and my comfort blanket and I'm still confused and still so scared.
And then I try to go back to sleep. And I have the dream again. And when I wake up I don't want to go back to sleep. But I don't want to get up. So I start thinking about things and there's no more sleep. But I think I'm still dreaming.
It's so freaking me out that 2 people have the same dreams/ideas/thoughts going on at the same time but at the 2 completely opposite ends.
I guess this is the moment in my life I've been dreading the most. Everything, and I literally mean everything is falling apart. Nothing is working out and I'm losing everything that actually keeps me alive and sane. Soon I'll be dead and crazy. No. I think crazy first then dead. Waitaminute...I'm already half mad. I guess I'm half way there, or should it be 1/4 since I'm half mad and crazy is halfway to death. Flibberghastaganatious man.
Saturday, May 10, 2003
Thursday, May 08, 2003
Her float's at 0900hrs. She's gonna be up around 0700hrs or earlier. It's 0117hrs. She's had around at least 8 hours or less sleep. She's tired and scared and stressed. She sounds tired and scared and stressed. I keep telling her it'll turn out O.K. and everything will be fine. I'm worried for her. I miss her. I got to see her last on Wednesday. It's 0121hrs. I'm worried and scared for her. I feel this lump in my throat and a weight in my chest. Breathing is hard. I can't sleep. I don't understand why I'm feeling like that. I'm sitting in my room without the lights on because it's broken. It's not helping. I wanted to buy her flowers before she left. Actually just a simple rose. I didn't get a chance. I guess I was too afraid. I got a little toy horse (she likes horses) and 9 CDs I burnt for her. It's 0126hrs. I still feel the same. I'm throat still lumps up and the weight in my chest is now in my stomach. I'm worried and scared and stressed for her and I miss her. I can't do anything now. I shall try to drown myself in my sleep. It won't be easy cos it's hard to force yourself to go under. It's 0128hrs and I'm worried and scared for her. I miss you.
This I like, stolen from RedSky's blog.
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the American Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"
- Chris Rock
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the American Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"
- Chris Rock
SMS between Gwenn...and me.
Gwenn...: ....then gonna meet Steven the beave
Me: lol! I tot beaves are for pussies? Hairy beaver all?
Gwenn...: Ya lah, Steven is a pussy what.
See Grouse Rally for details.
Gwenn...: ....then gonna meet Steven the beave
Me: lol! I tot beaves are for pussies? Hairy beaver all?
Gwenn...: Ya lah, Steven is a pussy what.
See Grouse Rally for details.
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
I slept at like 630AM and wow! I'm up early today. Early in a looonng time and ...
It's a beautiful day......
If you look up in the air
you can see the sky...
It's a beautiful day....
If you stare at the sun
you will burn your eyes.....
It's a beautiful day
Look up... the sky it's coming down
I totally get Volvo Driving Mom.
It's a beautiful day......
If you look up in the air
you can see the sky...
It's a beautiful day....
If you stare at the sun
you will burn your eyes.....
It's a beautiful day
Look up... the sky it's coming down
I totally get Volvo Driving Mom.
I sent out a job application and this is what I got.
Thanks for the interest in the application of the
position. I'm sure you're aware of the industry being
badly hit by the SARS outbreak and economy has not
started to pick up. We won't be considering your
application due to the high expected salary
Reply
I totally understand about the economy and SARS and all those rubbish but don't you think it's unfair to reject my application simply based on a high expected salary? I would have expected at least an interview for a chance to show you what I have to offer AND THEN, we talk money. Salaries are always negoitable. Companies always bring down expected salary but they never raise them. I hope you would consider my appication a second time and this time take a look at my qualifications and listen to what I have to offer. Thanks
Well, I got another shot at the job now.
Thanks for the interest in the application of the
position. I'm sure you're aware of the industry being
badly hit by the SARS outbreak and economy has not
started to pick up. We won't be considering your
application due to the high expected salary
Reply
I totally understand about the economy and SARS and all those rubbish but don't you think it's unfair to reject my application simply based on a high expected salary? I would have expected at least an interview for a chance to show you what I have to offer AND THEN, we talk money. Salaries are always negoitable. Companies always bring down expected salary but they never raise them. I hope you would consider my appication a second time and this time take a look at my qualifications and listen to what I have to offer. Thanks
Well, I got another shot at the job now.
Monday, May 05, 2003
Friday, May 02, 2003
I got this of err..some website. If you wanna know where, just ask.
Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking or a big lunch, the outcome is the same: Farts.
Seventy percent of the time, we can dispense freely. The other 30% of the time, such as at work, we have some tough decisions to make. This document is intended to help you in those decisions.
Holders - The obvious choice is just plain holding it in. A popular choice among the females and an almost impossible choice for males. I am not in favor of holding, as I believe the medical community has not done enough research about the long-term damage of holding. Really, where does it go if you hold it in? So be forewarned, using this tactic is to be done at your own risk.
Desk Jockey - When deciding to release right at your desk, one has many factors to consider:
- Do you have your own office? Feel free to fart at will risk free. After commencing, I highly recommend locking the door and feigning you are not in the office to avoid any unwanted visitors. I also highly recommend against spraying air freshener, as the smell of the freshener is a dead giveaway. Candles are a good alternative solution for the females.
- Are you seated at a cubicle or open desk? If so, one has to consider the proximity of the other workers and the density of workers in the area. If it is just you and one other person in the area, there is nowhere to place the blame. If others are fairly distant to you, the smell will dissipate by the time it reaches the others on all but the most egregious of days. There is always the chance of dispensing at higher decibels than anticipated due to the highly unstable nature of farts. In these most unfortunate situations, you will have to use cover up sounds such as scraping your heal on the floor. I recommend practicing making sounds covering a wide range of tones and pitches in anticipation of such an event. Dropping objects such as staplers, binders and tape may not produce a similar sound, but if done in rapid succession could distract others from the initial event.
Meetings: - Sometimes the urge strikes at the most inopportune time. Meetings and gas really do not mix. Releasing at a meeting is by far the trickiest of all the situations one could find oneself in. Although I am against holding in general, a meeting may be the time for it. It really depends if you have established baseline farts before the meeting. This will give you a sense of the decibel and scent level of what is to be expected. Warning: Do not ever use a meeting as the place to establish a baseline. Of course none of the above applies if you are meeting with vendors. You have free reign to do whatever you like.
Aisle Walker: - Releasing while walking around the office is a popular option. By the time the scent disseminates, you should be nowhere near the scene of the incident. The added benefit is that if the release is done at higher decibels than anticipated, you can break out into an all out sprint thereby fleeing the scene before others even look up to notice.
Broom Closet: - One option is to find a broom closet and release inside the closet. The only drawback is explaining why you were in the broom closet if you are caught entering or leaving the closet. I found stashing stationery supplies in the closet provides a nice excuse. People will love you for informing them about the backup stationery supply cabinet. Of course, you then have to find another closet, as your original place will become too risky.
And remember, if you're workplace has many open flames, you are on your own.
Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking or a big lunch, the outcome is the same: Farts.
Seventy percent of the time, we can dispense freely. The other 30% of the time, such as at work, we have some tough decisions to make. This document is intended to help you in those decisions.
Holders - The obvious choice is just plain holding it in. A popular choice among the females and an almost impossible choice for males. I am not in favor of holding, as I believe the medical community has not done enough research about the long-term damage of holding. Really, where does it go if you hold it in? So be forewarned, using this tactic is to be done at your own risk.
Desk Jockey - When deciding to release right at your desk, one has many factors to consider:
- Do you have your own office? Feel free to fart at will risk free. After commencing, I highly recommend locking the door and feigning you are not in the office to avoid any unwanted visitors. I also highly recommend against spraying air freshener, as the smell of the freshener is a dead giveaway. Candles are a good alternative solution for the females.
- Are you seated at a cubicle or open desk? If so, one has to consider the proximity of the other workers and the density of workers in the area. If it is just you and one other person in the area, there is nowhere to place the blame. If others are fairly distant to you, the smell will dissipate by the time it reaches the others on all but the most egregious of days. There is always the chance of dispensing at higher decibels than anticipated due to the highly unstable nature of farts. In these most unfortunate situations, you will have to use cover up sounds such as scraping your heal on the floor. I recommend practicing making sounds covering a wide range of tones and pitches in anticipation of such an event. Dropping objects such as staplers, binders and tape may not produce a similar sound, but if done in rapid succession could distract others from the initial event.
Meetings: - Sometimes the urge strikes at the most inopportune time. Meetings and gas really do not mix. Releasing at a meeting is by far the trickiest of all the situations one could find oneself in. Although I am against holding in general, a meeting may be the time for it. It really depends if you have established baseline farts before the meeting. This will give you a sense of the decibel and scent level of what is to be expected. Warning: Do not ever use a meeting as the place to establish a baseline. Of course none of the above applies if you are meeting with vendors. You have free reign to do whatever you like.
Aisle Walker: - Releasing while walking around the office is a popular option. By the time the scent disseminates, you should be nowhere near the scene of the incident. The added benefit is that if the release is done at higher decibels than anticipated, you can break out into an all out sprint thereby fleeing the scene before others even look up to notice.
Broom Closet: - One option is to find a broom closet and release inside the closet. The only drawback is explaining why you were in the broom closet if you are caught entering or leaving the closet. I found stashing stationery supplies in the closet provides a nice excuse. People will love you for informing them about the backup stationery supply cabinet. Of course, you then have to find another closet, as your original place will become too risky.
And remember, if you're workplace has many open flames, you are on your own.
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