Nobody understands me truely. They think they do but in the end, I'm always ended up in a lurch

Yawn.....stretches. Hmmm...3+2 jobs now but less than 1/2 job pay.

There is never enough time....

Did anyone watch Seinfeld just now? HELLOooooOOooo!

I have nothing. I stay in bed and never get up until I absolutly have to. I wanna stay asleep and stay dreaming cos everything seems right there. My dad sits next to the phone and doesn't pick it up. I never get any calls so I never pick it up either. I have nothing. My brother's gonna ORD soon. I will have no space. No privacy. No freedom. I'm 25 and I still have a freaking curfew. My dad hogs the newspaper and when I wanna look at it, it's missing. How am I suppose to look for a job n the classifieds? My dad steals the New Paper from clubs. What's the point of keeping track with the news when you're not even doing anything. People look for me only when they need something. My sis looks for me only when she needs something. My friends or one of my friend looks for me only when she needs something. My mom doesn't like it when I come home late, or when I go out, even when i'm looking for a job or working. I'm only just starting. Everything is going, gone. Leaving or left.

How's that for the depressing charts? Reckon an 8 at least? I think I'm gonna sign up for loser.com

It hurts so much it hurts. But it's inevitable. Look...I'm learning new words. Sigh....

Man...this sucks....I miss Sean and Sashi and Ralf and Sofia and Forresters and $5 steak and Chicken Kiasu and UTS and flower pot man and Miss Thursday nights and cheap food at StarCity and Fucking *enter word here but it's usually hippie* and Shnitzel or however you spell it and Pizza and oh shut up.....

Things are look rather bleak at the moment....

I can't sleep cos I'm thinking of Her. She's on my mind but not by my side. Sigh...

I'm feel tired. Many reasons. One result.

Flark.

sigh....

EVERY!!! fucking thing is falling apart. Every!!!!!!

I'm suppose to be the want you want

This depression/my life sucks thing is coming back. But I can't help it. Really. I can't. I just can't. Help me but I can't. I'm sorry.

Song of the moment that drives the mood....Glad by Life is Elsewhere

Look...I'm a quarter of a century old and I'm feeling jaded already. I have no intention of settling down but I also have no intention of messing around. I just wanna share my life with someone who understands me. Hmmm...tough one. Who will understand me? Will it be contestant number #1, contestant #2, or contestant #3. The ones that I go out with sometimes...or used to...are in no way, anyway, close to someone that will keep me sane and happy. The one that I think is in anyway close is like so far away. I swear she's avoiding me. I think she is. Oh well. I think I'll go with the flow. Rough river bed though. Maybe I'll look the otherway...look....coasters....

I guess it didn't last. Oh well.....oh well alright. Down the freaking well. Look...barren ground. I think I'll go in that direction.
*grumbles*
can't even have some proper, quality time. what the fuck am I doing here in the first place. I shouldn't have done anything. No..I should have done something. It's getting me nowhere. yea...just a stand-in. Fucking hell. I should have kept my resolution. It seems like they're all the same. Never one is like what you expect them to be. Why do I even bother. It's just meaningless. It's all......*trails offffff*

Everything seems blissful at the moment. Hope it stays.

Yup...She's leaving alright. So I guess I'll see Her in..hmmm...say 5 or 6 years time. Maybe more, maybe never. If She still remembers me. *sigh*

"I want to see you" sounds soooo much better than "I love you"

I want Hills and no one else.

I still feel empty.

Late at night at the stables
Sitting on the fence not knowing what's in it for us
Next to each other, side by side, the distance between us feels close but yet a distance
Till one day while the moon hid behind the trees, a light came from within
Everything was soft and warmth filled the cold air

Maybe I'll try compile everything together...

So I went for this job thingy today. Hell Fuck Shit No! I don't think I'm up to it. I can try but i doubt I'll get it. I guess I have to look somepalce else. London's Calling... Maybe I'll see if I can contact my cousin.

I think I mentioned this before, but Life is Elsewhere says....

Don't you know
If you're ever gonna love him
If you're ever gonna love him

I guess I'll keep running....

I am as close as I am far away from you
I trudge my feet to carry me away
Every move I make feels like dead weight
I want to tear but I am dry

The hollow shell within me is emptier than it should be
As I listen to the tunes that doesn't help me
Even breathing is hard though I can't help but smile when I see you

The world of plasticblackspecs is a lonely path. Don't try this at home.

finally, the when I find The One that I wanna spend the rest of my life with (no it's wasn't love at first sight but...you get the picture)....

a) She's leaving and never coming back,
b) We're jumping on each others' toe all the time,
c) Don't have or never spend time with each other, and
d) I am broke, don't have a job and am useless in the working world.

Sucks doesn't it. I'm outta here.

I feel like giving everything up. And I mean everything. Maybe I will. I'll think about it.

I just completed LiE's demo though we didn't jam today Or yesterday. We were suppose to to do a proper recording for the demo. Anyway, I salvaged our other sessions and did one. AND!!!! I didn't even do shit about the lesson plan. Whooo!!!

I am the man.

This room is definetely not big enough for the two of us.

I am a genius. And I haven't even started yet.

I don't think I'm gonna get the job. I'm not even anywhere near it. I haven't even started writing the lesson plan yet. How am I suppose to create lesson plans for something I don't even remember or know. It's like going back to school and learning just to teach. I'm dead meat. Oh, look at the time. Time check please. Time Check: 0537hrs . Thanks! Shitty, shitty, shitty.

Hey thanks all for....err....you know what. Just going through some tough times around here. It's all mind games I'm telling ya but I'm playing.

I slept most of the day away and now comes the slowest part, night. I can't wait for tomorrow when I can go jam again. And I haven't done any work either! It's due Monday! Fudge! Fark! Fuck! Farmer!

i think I shall take a shower. Hot....

Whoa! Life is Elsewhere has 8 song already and still counting.

I'm sneezing like a spluttering water hose.

Why do I feel like I'm just some guy? Sigh...

It never fails. Everytime I go to the library, I need to take a dump. There's some kinda laxative effects mass congregation of books does to me. Hell, even bookstores does that to me. When, actually only when I go to the library or the bookstore to look for books for do work and not hang out. Oh...it's raining. Very heavily I might add. How am I gonna do everything by Monday? I called in sick today and I gave up a chance to work again tomorrow to work on this. I'm so gonna screw things up. I'm never cut out for this kinda job. I'm too dumb. duhhhhhh.....

Hey peeps! It's a nice cool morning today. I'm feeling all paranoid and emotionless now. Could do with a little more sleep and a little less work but the day has already started and it won't stop till midnight. See you guys then, or after actually.

Time check: 0423hrs
I am: Still bloody awake.
Opps it is: Over. But I shall still read. Same as before. See yaz.

I think I shall read till this is over. Sucky night to all of ya. Better morning the next day.

All this whining...I'm just a big baby. A kid. It's 0417hrs and I'm still wide awake and bored.

If I keep this up, I think I can put out cig butts with my right index fingure.

Can't you tell......if you ever gotta love 'em, if you ever gonna tell 'em....

Damn! Aaron is good.

I'm think I'm just a Fill-In-The-Blanks. I'm feel like a Fill-In-The-Blanks.

I'm listening to Keep Running now. Damn! That Aaron guy can really make a guy feels. Now I understand Vacant Heart Shakers.

Maybe that's what life is about. To get laid. To get high. Nah, I don't think so.

It's too quiet. I'm listening to the I get laid song. It was a good take. Even Aaron Baron says so.

I was always afraid to use the word love but now I'm not. Now I'm just not sure.

It's almost 4 and I'm still awake.

The angst song is finally over. I dun wanna hear the other stuff cos they'll change my mood and I dun wanna change it, so I just muted the volume and let it record. Oh, I've decided to do the session after all so I'm gonna have to wait for it to be done.

I feel like not working tomorrow. No. I will. I will.

I almost teared. I couldn't. I'm too stuborn. Though a small whisp came out. Oh no! Am I turning emo?

Why! Why! Why!??? did I never listened to myself in the beginning? I would have saved me all these troubles.

I'm in the middle of playing my with my bass now. Now I know how all those musicians play and move around and jump here and there and swing their guitars all over. It's cos of what they feel. It's emo (yah! yah!), it's fustration, it's angst. It's fuck y'all. I'm going back to my bass. At least I know SHE (my bass) loves me.

I am in angst. I need angst. I am angst. I am gonna play this new song that Aaron wrote that is so fucking angst (which has no title yet and still working lyrics.). Oh and I finally figured out why my A string on my bass was buzzing thanks to what some guy said at Bras Basah Swee Lee though I didn't know what he was talking about at that time but I managed to figure it out. I will play my bass now with full of angst till my finger blisters, again. ANGST!!!! I think it goes like this.

Run away! Renagade! What you say! All the way!
This is just the way that it seems.....

Or so it seems I think, I may be wrong. I am wrong. ANGST!!!!!!!!!!

I really can't sleep now.

I dun think I can sleep now.

I think I have decided. I will not mind fuck myself anymore. Instead, I shall stuff my noodle with as much shit as possible. I will keep feeding and keep pushing and keep going till I am numb, I will not be dumb. I will go to the extreme. I will...damn it. there's this baby cockroach runninga orund in my room and I missed it...TWICE! Fudge. So anyway..where was I? Oh yah, I will push myself to the limit and if I drop, so there. but knowing me...I'll be too stubborn to and I'll just keep pushing and pushing myself till I can't go any furthur, then I'll just pick myself up and keep going again and again. Yup. I'll do that. Oh...look at the time, I'm not even close to sleeping yet, and I have to be at school at 10am for some orientation thingy, AND I've got Beez-throw from 3-12. I almost took Nana's sat 4-12 but I decided against it cos...I think, I think...well....now come to think of it, I should have taken it. talking about Beez-throw. I have to blow my head up abit and self-boost my ego abit but now that Chew isn't working anymore, I'm the fastest gun in the restaurant. Yea!

Since I'm on the "let's write alot" run, I'm gonna go on somemore. Mr. Gay guy with a huge gross butt crack who semi hit on me came in again today and same thing, ordered 2 prawn spaggetti. i didn't have time to talk to him but before that, 2 other gay dudes came and I opened wine for them I had a screwed up wine opener and cork bit fell into teh wine and out into the wine glass when I served them. i was so embarressed that i gave them a 10% discount. When they asked for the bill, I told them what I did and the guy when "Oh, you didn't need to" He when on saying that it happens to him a lot and it's mainly due to a lousy bottle opener (Here Hills, you can have it back). Oh! And he said he cuts himself a lot too. I'm thinking..man, you suck. I only cut myself once due to carelessness and cork bits never fell into the bottle, cept that one time, and I dun even drink wine. Anyway, this cut himself with the wine opener gay guy is definetly cuter than Mr. gross butt crack semi-hit on me gay dude, AND nicer. Oh well. yea, think what you want but I dun discriminate sexual preferences.

Han was teaching Slyvester how to do closing and it held us all back. I couldn't steal a cake to eat, nor enjoy the wrong order prawn spaggetti that we (Elfie and Gladys) had to wolf down real quick incase Slyvester came back with Han or the extra left over stew that Andy gave us. Couldn't even enjoy a smoke after work. Damn! I gotta quit buying ciggies. Ever since finding out that the stain on my teeth was caused my drinking too my teh-terik instead of smoking, I just keep buying when I'm out. I've gotten into the, hey...when I'm not spending and trying to save and when I'm spending a little and trying to save, the outcomes still the same, so I'm becoming a little more spendthrift now.

I guess that's enough yapping. I really should try to get some sleep but I can't. Phew.....

Why do I keep fucking myself in the??? Arghh!!!! I need more work. Keep me occupied. Blaggerdash! Flabberghast!

I would cry but I am dry.

I love you.

There is no competition. Just me, I and myself.
I am who I am and I will be what I am.
I will not change for whoever or whatever, whenever, however or why-ever.
This is my life.
This is my world.
This is my generation.
These are my thoughts.
Welcome...to the world of plasticblackspecs.

Hmm...I guess that's enough self- psyching up for now.

I will not fuck myself in the head...
I will not fuck myself in the head...
I will not fuck myself in the head...
Fark!!! Why am I mind-fucking myself???!!!!
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Life...is just a series of....boring, stupid, mindless and un-worth while events. YaRg!

Oh....look at the time. I just got back from supper. I tried to sneak out just now. My dad was still awake. I waited awhile till he got to bed, a little bit more for the dust to settle down and then snuck out. The door creaked. I got out as quick a possible and ran for the life fearing my dad would wake up all of a sudden wondering who's opening the door at almost 3 in the morning. Got Ben and we drove around trying find food. All the food places were close. In the end had to supper for mee goreng and maggie mee goreng at some prata shop. Oh well. At least I got some food. Now I still can't sleep. I think I'll play some Diablo II. The only game I have on my computer. Boof!

ah...I think one of my posts disappeared so I'm posting it again. I got it from..I can't member where. (Actually I do but I'm not telling unless you ask. So there) Here goes.

First name: Terence
Age: 25
Country/state you live in: Singapore/East
3 fav. bands are: Life is Elsewhere, Tiramisu and I'd have to say...Plain Sunset I guess
Want to get this outve life: Oooo..tough one here. Let's leave this one out.
You think your punk/skate/goth/bimbo/trash/normal-boring: Ex-skater, a little punkish, but normally boring
Majority of the time your wearing: Some kinda jeans and a tee-shirt I...*sniff* no smell, so dun need to change
I could / could notwear white sneakers and tights in public: NOT!
Am i a bitch/prik: Prik
I like: Hills
I hate: Not being with Hills
I am usually happy / sad : Happier sad. Nah...the sad/depressed thing is getting too over-rated. I'm usually grinning monkey happy

Have fun.

Again. Can't sleep. Haven't tried though I just laid in bed. I'm bored. No super alot of work shifts at Beez-throw cos we've been cut again. Tight budget constraint. Tight ass you mean. I think I should look for another part-time jobs. Having more than one job seems to be the "IN" thing nowadays. It is. Really. But people are doing it just to get in on it, they don't understand the concept of it. Like giving up one shift to work at another place. Hello? Same thing right? Oh well. Hmm..oh well seems to be on my mind lately. Oh well.

Can't help about the way I am,
I can't sing, I ain't pretty and my legs are thin.
Don't ask me what I think of you cos I ain't got the answer that you want me to.

Riff and the followed by super elaborated bass and guitar solo together.

Boy! Am I feeling spendthrift. It feels good to buy stuff. Retail therapy.

FINALLY!!! I've got new shoes. And a bag. And comics. And my pay slip. I think I'm gonna get another bag tomorrow. I think my pay check comes in tomorrow too. Oh what the heck. I'm springing for those books and CDs I want now online. Pictures up soon, later, next time, when I get my cam back. Take you time.

Gimme a J!         J!
Gimme an O!      O!
Gimme a B!        B!
Gimme a JOB!     err.....dey...dun have leh. Sorry ah? *runs out the back door*

I'm so bored. I need someone to talk to. I need to talk to someone. Someone talk to me.

Cheesebun

FORK!!!!!!!!

spoony spoony spoon....

uh hmmmm...

La la la la la

Tee hee hee *giggles*

Must

put

up

as

many

posts

so

I'll

look

cool.

It's 3:33AM already? But my clock says it's 0338hrs! ??? Time weird when you're (not) haviing fun.

I need.....

a) Make that 2 new pairs of shoes.
1) pair of new jeans. Mine's all holey.
e) lectric toothbrush. (Enter the yuppie, but I think it'll help get rid of the stain on my tooth)
b) ag again. I'm bag obessed.
$) some books online and from Bored-ders.
and of course...a job. pooch

I can't sleep again. I'm thinking of yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. So bored. i need to get my life in order. Hmmm...that means about $10k+??? yup. That should do it. Number one on the agenda. Give Hills a hug when I see her. La la la la la. Nothing to do. No urge to smoke. No urge to eat. No urge to sleep. Urge to hug Hills. La la la la la. Life is Elsewhere.

I've finally cooked my instant noodles but I haven't eaten them yet. Beez-throw is getting to be a drag. I need to find another job so I can throw some shifts away.

Hungry! Hungry! Hungry! Hungry! Where did all the freaking comics go too???!!! I think I'll eat some instant noodles.

I feel used. Oh well. I got so fed up I just changed everything. La la la la la. I'm a genius. Thank you. *bows* Thank you *bows*

I give up.

I'm totally sorry for all I have done. I am yours ass truly.

one more time?

Here I am, I screwed up my blogger, and I can't see anything, even what I'm typing now, and my gf's not helping at all. All she does is wiggle her bum at me and flashes me. I'm so cheesed...no...I'm so fucking pissed off now. No one helps. I still walk around with broken shoes. ALL my fucking shoes are broken. Every single pair of civilian shoes I have is broken. I walk around with my sole split into two, causing super straining on my feet (better if I walk around bare-footed). No wonder I feel tired all the time even though I've only worked 6 hours at the beez-throw. My only pair of slippers is 3 sizes too big and I didn't even buy them, I found them. I can't afford to buy a new pair of shoes cos a) I haven't paid my phone bill in almost 5 months and 3) I dun think I should spend that kinda money cos I dun have a freaking job 2) The only job I have now is barely enough for me to survive. I eat like.......when do i eat? I dun even remember. and flabbergash) The only reason i have internet connection is because it's free (Starhub). Argh, Sod off. All of you. I give up. I'm just gonna sit around till it's time to go for Music Box. Hope I dun screw up, but knowing me. I will. Farmer!

I dun see anything

I think I'll get a pack and go for a walk. 3 whole hours. I need time to myself...again. Why....

It's only freaking 15 to 3. Work's at 6. Leave at 5. Shower at 430. That leaves me with a whole 1 1/2. So long! Bored! What to do! I wish Hilary was here with me. Whooo....lightning. Hilary was so cheesebunned at worked today that she's cheesebunned. I'm getting angry at Bistro. I think I'm gonna do fuck-all today. I'm moodless anyway. Can't tell you why. I'm moodless. Happy but still moodless. I'm insecure.

Life is Elsewhere

Formed in around, but not exactly, Feb 2003, fueled by their roots of that time and driven by the different directions each individual took as they tried to trace the remains of what's going on around them, somehow, anyhow, who cares how, they were fused together and hence the final product is something not a final product of the fusion but a regurgitate of what each has experience while they pondered what everything or anything is about (mainly Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll I guess, though we all know that's not what it is all about now. Well, Rock n' Roll of course, definetely Sex, Drugs...maybe). After much of Elayne's (Dun ask me, I dunno who she is either) wonderful experience with her experiment (them being her pigs), it has been discovered that the amalgam of musical ideas showed that whatever rubbish has been dished out at this point showed that Life is Elsewhere. Hence, they decided to carry out a self searching research to find out if it is just them or the same goes for everyone.

Some people are soooooo funny. Points at you, you and.....you. You too. Dun think you're so cool. You're one of the funny persons I'm talking about. Damn funny but I guess it's just me, Hence the title. Like I used to say, old school style, Comedy sia.