Maybe It's Just Me

Friday, January 31, 2003

Is it really Chinese New Year? It feels like Christmas to me. Nicey Christmasy feeling.....*sighing grin* Merry Christmas to all!!!! Sorry guys. I'm a little late.

Saturday, January 25, 2003

Ahhh....a week has passed by and what happened? So many but yet none. I'm still trying (not really), I'm still hanging (not really), I'm still doing (not really), I'm still on (yes, really). Oh well. Patienced. I've wasted 10 yrs. Why not wait a little longer. I'm all yours guys in April and I'll help when and how ever I can. Just scream. Dun shout. hmmm...maybe monday I'll get off my butt and use my legs abit more. Youc!

Thursday, January 16, 2003

and some other rubbish here. KIV first. Haven't compress or upload yet. Lazy. Tired. Lazy

So here are the links to M2. M2 pics. Hope it doesn't screw up...again.

YAR!!!!!! screw up again!

Pictures from Maximum Music are finally out.

finally I did it. 168+ pics compressed. phew! *eyes stuck behind head*

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

Yesterday, my chair broke when I sat on it. At night I had prata and farted alot. And I mean alot. I think that's why my chair broke.

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

I have aggression I need to let out. I need a new band. Again. Or maybe I just just relax my muscles abit and let that air out of my ass. ~poot!~

Monday, January 13, 2003

Throat hurts. But everyone else is coughing too so I'm not really sick. Should be some kinda viral infection going round. So I can still eat fried stuff and all that crap. yea!

Sunday, January 12, 2003

Words from the imortal Wah-Master-Feet-Controller. "Sometimes you got it good, sometimes you got it bad, so go with the flow, and take it slow. Yo!" ..Or something like that...

When I reached M2, M-12 was playing. Nice. I then fell asleep till Tiramisu played. Took pictures for them. Found out my pictures suck cos I can't keep my fucking hand stady when i take them. Shitty.

Saturday, January 11, 2003

Oh..I've been shitty solid stuffs now. Solid stuff not as it *Power!!! Solid!!!* that stuff but solid shit kind of stuff. But the last tie it got stuck. Damn! I could use with one of those quick release type now.

.....anyway, back to the dream I had the other time. It was nice. nothing sexual, just...you know, nice feeling. presence felt. Confusing. Dillema but nice.

Somewhere else....today at luch with family. Bro's b/d. i voiced out my opinions abit. I could feel tears almost flowing. I held back. i can never really cry in real life. Only in dreams. I think I cried in my dreams. I dun remember. I was dreaming. I think I did.

Dream...nice.....

Morrow or rather, later is Maximum Music day. But first, I'll go jam. This is gonna be the 3rd time I'm jamming with these guys and never once I did any pre-preparation or practice b4 hand, but it still turns out fine. We still need a vox though. Anyone?

Friday, January 10, 2003

My mom threw away my shoes. My mom threw away my shoes. My mom threw away my shoes. My mom threw away my fucking shoes. Everything I ever owned. Everything I ever had. Everything I loved and cherished. All gone. All thrown away. This is the last straw. I'm not taking up the job. I'm finding another job and moving out.
My mom threw away my fucking shoes!!!!!. *sob*

Thursday, January 09, 2003

I'm so tired. I just wanna close my eyes....and never open them again.

Now my mom is driving me mad. I hear nothing but shouts and screams, curses and complains. I'll never have any peace till I take the job. But then, if I took the job, I'll never have peace. I am to be a slave. To work like a dog and give all my money away. Why? I blame my sis. I should be jealous, blaming her, but I'm only accusing thru words. My heart is dead.

I had a dream. A wonderful dream.....sigh. Wish it would come true.

I'm holding out. By next week, nothings happening? I'm gonna crack and take up the job my mom has been pestering me to take. Shitty.

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

My parents are driving me mad. They ARE forcing me to take up the job even though their mouth are forming the words, "We're don't want to force you, you know." and the voice box projects their mouth formations across the room and into my ears. They keep shouting at me, "Go and call and arrange for an interview! You've got the job already, just have to call only!". Can't even let me sleep. I sleep abit, I get disturbed, I sleep abit, I get disturbed. I can never have a proper, straight, undisurbed sleep. All because of money. Because of this, I am seriously considering cashing in on my NSS and ERS shares and withdrawing my last paycheck of $300 from waiting on people, (so that'll make about $900) and just giving it all to them and asking them to leave me alone. But it will never work.

I need to get out. I am contemplating suicide, considering NIE, or even NS, but no. I have to persevere. I have to allow my dreams to come true. I have to get my off my butt and start working on the NBT review and get a job at SW. I just wanna die. I wanna preach again. Money is evil.

My mom sorta, forced? pushed? edged? (fuck), forced me into this job at some site (construction not web) that my uncle is working at as some dunno what fuck supervisor. (*fake shout/cry* "You'll never understand me!" *fake slams door* wink!). She wants me to work so that I can bring money back into the house. I blame my sis again. If I land the job, I'm just gonna hand her my entire pay check and say, "Here's the money you wanted me to work for you." I'm such an ass but I have no need for money. 'cept to move out, get a license, get an amp, get a studio, but I have no need for money. Money just kills. I'm happier without it. yea, sounds like typical mat attitude but no, seriously, they have it right. Money just kills. I just wanna do something I really like, something that I have the passion for. Like PBS, like Orange Ribbon, like you-know-what. Of course there will be money involved but it will come. Money will come but it is not important at this stage. Money shouldn't been seen as the direct motivation and number priority in whatever you do. Money should be a sideline rather the pipeline. Money just kills. Gimme money.